Just Ask

May 23, 2010 by

Just Ask

Have you ever wanted something but didn’t quite know how to ask for it?

Have you ever been scared to ask a question? To ask THE question? To ask for something you needed or deserved?

Have you ever been … “To Afraid To Ask”

I was talking with a very dear friend of mine about this exact topic. Why are we afraid to ask? We catastrophize about the answer we MIGHT get. We’re scared that the answer is not something we want to hear. We don’t know the outcome so we get caught up in the fantasy about how the BEST answer and the WORST answer might feel.

I was taught awhile ago by a friend that “all you have to do is ask.” As simple as that sounds it is simple but not easy to do. But she was right. All you have to do is ask. Or help the other person ask. Making the sound, verbalizing the need, pouring the visible concrete of words into the invisible mold of thought is all it takes to bring something to life.

But there’s one big trick … you can’t be attached to the answer.

If you are attached to the answer of the question, you’ll never ask the right question.

  • If you’re afraid she’ll say no, then you’ll only ask questions she can’t say no to, and you’ll never really be free enough to ask the true question
  • If you’re afraid the client will say they don’t need you, then you’ll never ask them why they need you

So here’s the question: “What are you afraid to ask?”

If you’ve got an entire scenario in your head of how the answer will turn out (either for the best or for the worst or both), then figure out what you’re afraid of, let go of it, and

ask the question … ask a different question … ask a better question.

To paraphrase Tony Robbins: “The quality of our lives comes down to the quality of the questions we ask”

So don’t be afraid of what they might say, find a great question, count to 3 (no procrastinating) and …

Just Ask

See you on the wire

— Steven Cardinale

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