Take that condom off

Jun 14, 2010 by

Take that condom off

It’s time to take off the protection. Ride bareback for a while. Let go of all the barriers and get really intimate.

Did I get your attention?

I hope so. Because I’m not talking only about sex here. I’m talking about all the barriers that we put between us. I’m talking about all the walls we put up that stop true intimacy, true social interaction, true connection. I’m talking about taking off the social condoms we wear around every day and really be vulnerable and intimate.

And intimacy is not about sex. In fact you can have sex with someone you are not intimate with, and be intimate with someone you’re not having sex with. So close your preconceptions and judgment for a minute and open your heart and mind and take a walk on the wild side with me.

Why are we afraid of intimacy? Why are we afraid of getting close to people? Why do we use protection: the protection of our personality, the protection of social masks, the protection of technology (email, chat, text) and get nervous when we are forced to let our guard/protection down for a moment?

Maybe it’s about trust (see my post on belief/trust). Maybe we’re afraid that if we trust, if we’re truly intimate and share our feelings with another or have them share their feelings with us that the walls will come crumbling down and we’ll get hurt. But if you don’t trust then you shouldn’t try to connect at all; with or without protection; you should take a step back. I think Sam Kinison said it best (and this is my cleaned up version … his X-rated version is available on Google by typing “Sam Kinison” “If you don’t trust”): if you don’t trust the other person, why are you with the other person.

So here’s the question: “In what situation would you be willing to take off your protection and trust?” And don’t go all out and end up hurt. But in what small little way are you protecting yourself some-place, with some-one, at some-event that you can ask yourself “what would happen if I rode bareback here?” Take it one step at a time, but maybe the more you play without protection, the more passion you’ll squeeze out of life.

See you on the wire

— Steven Cardinale

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