The Illusion of the Like

Jul 31, 2011 by

The Illusion of the Like

I was thinking about wants and likes, must-have’s and nice-to-have’s, things that make a difference in your life story vs. those experiences that are just so much noise.

I know they’re just words: “want” and “like”, but words are so much more than just letters and sounds. Language exposes our thoughts. Words lay bare our beliefs and when we’re uncensored give us a glimpse into our true selves.

So “want” and “like” are more than just words. They are your beliefs of what is possible and what your willing to do to create that possibility.

Wants require effort. Wants are out of your reach. Wants require you to challenge what you are willing to do to get there. Wants require you to get up early; get on the plane; take uncomfortable risks; ask better questions; and potentially manifest a new world you never thought possible.

Like are wishes. Likes are daydreams and fantasy talk over coffee. Likes tell you where you’re not willing to go. Likes are voyeuristic and let you watch through your mind’s eye and suspend disbelief, for a moment. Likes let you pretend that your limitations don’t exist.

Likes let you use pretty lies to pretend they are wants.

Read that again. It’s important. It’s the illusion of the like. All you have to do to find out if you’re in the illusion is to make your statement extreme (you know “I’d like to be Superman” is very different from “I WANT to be Superman” one is a kid’s fantasy the other is delusional).

You’ve heard these all before:
– “I’d like to go back to school” vs. “I wanted to get into the best school on the planet, did the work and got in”

– “I’d like to start my own business one day, but tomorrow I have to go back to work” vs. “it was so much harder and scarier than I thought but now I’m my own boss”

and so many more.

Wants drive have’s. Having is how we turn wants into reality. Like’s are fantasies and only stay in our minds.

I recently lost my aunt, and just found out someone else I know is dying of cancer. That mortality is making me think even more so about what I want in my life. And I noticed I don’t have time for likes. My likes are evaporating and my wants are becoming more visceral.

So here’s the questions – “What do you really want?” Only want things that are worth having. Only want things that are amazing. Only want things that take your life story in a different direction and will make you smile when your mortality catches up with you. Make that list now. Kill your likes, they are illusions, and go catch your wants

See you on the wire

— Steven Carinale

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