The opposite of love

Jun 18, 2010 by

The opposite of love

Have you ever been irrelevant? Have you ever had the other person NOT notice you? Have you ever thought you were amazing, only to find out, they WEREN’T listening?

I’m not sure where I heard this but it seems to fit: “The opposite of love is not hate it’s apathy.”

I’m sure you’ve experienced it; a total lack of connection. In business we get it all the time: our customers don’t see us, our prospects don’t notice us, our bosses and clients don’t remember if we were there or not.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like being irrelevant.  So if this is such a common occurrence, why is it so traumatic? Is the opposite of love truly apathy … an unwillingness to connect?

Maybe it’s how we’re wired.  Maybe if someone is passionate about you it sparks an engagement, a connection. Maybe that’s what we’re looking for after all: not love, or hate, or something in-between. Maybe being relevant is what it’s all about, being passionate – being connected, even if that relevance is opposite from the belief system of the other.

We’ve seen it; two people who violently disagree, perhaps even hate each other, eventually have that passionate spark of disagreement turn into engagement. And of course we’ve seen it on the other side; agreeing passionately.

This happened to me the other day.  I was irrelevant.  The other person wasn’t mad, wasn’t upset, wasn’t frustrated … they weren’t anything. They didn’t answer my email, didn’t return my call, didn’t care to even explore the offer … they just didn’t … and I was irrelevant.

So here’s my question: “When was the last time you were irrelevant?”  That’s a tough one to answer because usually it means taking a hard look at ourselves and asking “Why”.  Why am I irrelevant?  Is it them … maybe.  Is it me … probably.  Whatever I’m doing they don’t care about.  So do you change what you’re doing to become more relevant in their world?  Yes, No, Maybe.  You could decide NOT to play in their sandbox.  But if you do … if you do decide to play in their sandbox, the only way to get them to love you (or hate you), is to do something important enough to be seen.  So go ahead … do something we’ll notice … be relevant … we dare you … and we’re waiting.

See you on the wire

— Steven Cardinale

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